Is There Intimacy in Social Media?


Heather Gold led the discussion. People are missing quality connections, meaningful conversations online. If you have a deep conversation with someone face to face, can you continue that online? Can you have such a deep connection when you meet online?

Gail Williams: I see the words friend and community used to describe database divisions.

Shannon Clark: People in online communities who are bound together will almost inevitably reach out on other levels. The ones that last are the ones where there’s at least one in-person interaction. People you’ve had a meal with, whose house you’ve slept in are the ones you can build that relationship with.

Paul Clegg: Some email mailing lists simply have a friendlier tone, where it’s accepted that you can be off-topic once in a while, without getting slapped down.

Nevio: Five minutes with someone on the phone can be electric and I can feel completely understood. Because we talk about the things that really matter to me.

Susan Kuchinskas (Me): It’s about disclosure. If I tell you something personal and you accept it, I feel closer to you. Whether it’s me posting something dumb on a technical mailing list and others kindly answering my question instead of being snarky or saying something more personal.

Heather: When I do comedy and I do something to make someone shy open up, that opens up the room faster. Intentional sincerity.

Al Chang: Lightweight connection tools like LinkedIn or MySpace are a nice and easy way to maintain contact. MySpace provides a low-cost way to check in with someone, give them a light touch, let them know I was thinking about them.

Gina: I think it needs to be a private space, one where I know that not only will I be accepted and not slapped down, but also where I know that everyone in the world isn’t going to read it.

David: I’ve never had a close relationship with someone I haven’t met in person. It will never happen.

Gail: I have.

Gina: With Post Secret, I feel like I’ve had intimate experiences with people just by looking at what they made.

Paul: The failures in the last few years are the companies that think social networking is an application. LinkedIn is successful because it has a layer of jobs, it uses social networking to achieve a goal.

Heather: We have such a commercialized life, and the web is amplifying the idea that it’s only specific connections that link us together. I’d like to connect across differences.

Paul: People go to these sites for affirmation.

Heather: People can get more affirmation from their personal relationships.

Gail: Yes, but some people may have all the intense personal relationships they need, and they go online for something a little lighter.

Nevio: Some people love the lightweight connections because it’s too heavy to have this friendship workload.

Heather: We’ve forgotten the reason we talked to each other was to know each other.

– Susan Kuchinskas

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[…] Here are a href=”http://www.web2point2.org/2006/11/09/is-there-intimacy-in-social-media/ “>notes from a conversation I lead at Web 2.2 today. I’m thinking a lot about creating conditions for quality connections online rather than volume eg. myspace “friends” […]

Type your comment here.
Maybe it is difficult to pinpoint what internet interaction is exactly, because it is something entirely new, without precedent in human interaction. It’s hard to describe something brand new in terms of what has gone on before. I think the benefit IS the volume of the connections which before was impossible.

Ouchhhhh! Your conference was right across the street from where I work and I missed it! And it had a party.. it woulda been great to meet fellow nerds. Ahhhh..and I missed it by 2 days. Why oh why. Next year, I s’pose. Hope it was successful!

Hi Chrissy,

Crazy how that happens, isn’t it? We will be hosting several smaller events in the coming months, so I would encourage you to check out http://www.socialmediaclub.org/events/ for the current list. We are also setting up a mailing list for all events so stay tuned for more info on that. Hopefully we’ll have the chance to meet you in person at one of them!

Social Media Expanded Definition: Social media is an umbrella term, defining the activities that come together in a medium using! And believe me, I know somebody has to support social media companies.

Impressive. Great execution on a great idea!

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Maybe it is difficult to pinpoint what internet interaction is exactly, because it is something entirely new, without precedent in human interaction.